Thursday, November 26, 2009
With A Thankful Heart
God's provisions are so amazing. Today I was blessed by the opportunity to serve a small portion of the physical needs in Laguna Beach. When I woke up this morning I felt great. Well rested, I showered and got ready for my day which began with breakfast at my best friends house, my second family. After breakfast I was overflowing with joy and ready to serve our Lord through serving food to the needy in downtown Laguna Beach. I was given a small tray of left overs from breakfast to share with those I would encounter. When I arrived at the location I found many helping hands. Outside, waiting patiently in the courtyard were about three families and a few individuals. We we able to offer breakfast, through the given leftovers, to all the people in the courtyard. Some declined but all those that were interested were given a portion of the breakfast to tide them over until the meal was served. Praise God! Then a friend and I greeted those who came to join in the celebration of thanksgiving. Once the meal was served we asked a man who seemed to be sitting alone if we could join him for a few minutes, and he obliged. His name is Fred and he lives at The Friendship Shelter just a few blocks from our celebration. In our short conversation we learned of some of the wonderful people he has come to know at the shelter and also some specific ways that we could pray for him. When asked Fred said that he would specifically like to receive prayer regarding a permanent housing facility and a job opportunity. In our brief time spent with this man and through my obedience to the Lord in serving others I was truly struck with a heart of thanksgiving. I am so abundantly blessed in this life and God's mercy and love are overwhelming. In the last year I have abandoned my homosexual lifestyle, shared my burden, been humbled at the foot of the Cross, welcomed God's forgiveness of sin, and found rest in the arms of our faithful and loving God. I pray that this attitude of thanksgiving will not flee with the dread and distractions of Black Friday around the corner and the busyness of Christmas less than one month away. My hope is that my heart would continually be reminded of God's grace, love, and ultimate sacrifice through Christ. That even if all worldly blessings were stripped from my life on earth the truest blessing would remain.... Salvation in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! May we give thanks always for the life eternal extended to us through his death and resurrection! May I continue to bless others in remembrance of my blessings and lift up the needs of Fred and so many like him to our Father who loves us and pours out his blessings upon his children. All the glory be to God!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
My Life & Testimony
2 Cor 12:9-10 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
The story of my life seemed to be predestined. At a young age I was plagued with thoughts of homosexuality. The name-calling and torment of my youth, cast upon me by peers, blurred and scared my early 20’s. As a young adult I began to explore a homosexual lifestyle rich in alcohol and drug abuse, relationship promiscuity, and a widening gap between God and I. For years my life was completely immersed in the vanity of this world. I was solely interested in looking my best, and being in the company of those with power, money, and sexual magnetism. I compromised my morals and beliefs to obtain status and popularity. I found myself at the end of my rope, lost and in desperate need of a savior. Recalling the biblical teachings of my youth and praying that I had not distanced myself to far from redemption in Christ, I began to pray again, attend church services again, and read my bible again, but I remained resistant to changing my homosexual behaviors and found short-lived comfort in fellowship. Sunday mornings I would attend church often times not recalling what the message was about hours later. And in the evenings I would get dressed up and head out to places that darkness dwelt and wickedness thrived. For months I lived two very different lives very openly. Many believers lifted me in prayer as I remained at the end of my rope in desperate need of a savior. Five months ago I attended a Christian conference that spoke specifically to homosexuality and God’s clear call to all believers. It was there that I was met by the Lord and freed from my resistance. “The opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality it’s HOLINESS,” a quote from the conference that will stay with me for eternity. I began to believe and live my life given that God is bigger than my desire for unhealthy relationships and my escapism through drugs and alcohol. It was during that conference that I was given a choice… Was I going to return to my empty ways of seeking fulfillment and finding heartache? Or was I going to lay down my burden and trust God to deliver me from my emptiness? That night I cried out to the Lord for deliverance from my burden and God met me in my brokenness. Everyday since I was humbled before the cross God has provided renewed strength daily. Daily he equips me to fight a battle against Satan. Where I would otherwise have been compelled and helpless to submitting to sin I now submit to the Lord and his strength is made perfect in my weakness. 2 Cor 12:9-10 God doesn’t promise that he will take away our appetite but He does promise that he will satisfy it righteously. Renowned Christian author, John Piper wrote: contentment of faith does not put an end to our hunger, weariness, or sexual appetite. It does transform the way we go about satisfying those desires. Faith doesn't stop us from eating but it stops gluttony; it doesn't stop sleep but it keeps us from being a sluggard. It doesn't stop sexual appetite but it keeps us from being enslaved to our sexual desires or any desire for that matter. God didn’t promise that he would remove my desire in homosexuality, which caused me to act in disobedience, but He has provided strength to crucify my flesh daily, grace to cover my imperfections, healthy non-sexual relationships with other Godly men and a heart of worship to better serve God the Father. I share with you today as a redeemed child of God free from the bondage of sin available to me through the blood and sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
The story of my life seemed to be predestined. At a young age I was plagued with thoughts of homosexuality. The name-calling and torment of my youth, cast upon me by peers, blurred and scared my early 20’s. As a young adult I began to explore a homosexual lifestyle rich in alcohol and drug abuse, relationship promiscuity, and a widening gap between God and I. For years my life was completely immersed in the vanity of this world. I was solely interested in looking my best, and being in the company of those with power, money, and sexual magnetism. I compromised my morals and beliefs to obtain status and popularity. I found myself at the end of my rope, lost and in desperate need of a savior. Recalling the biblical teachings of my youth and praying that I had not distanced myself to far from redemption in Christ, I began to pray again, attend church services again, and read my bible again, but I remained resistant to changing my homosexual behaviors and found short-lived comfort in fellowship. Sunday mornings I would attend church often times not recalling what the message was about hours later. And in the evenings I would get dressed up and head out to places that darkness dwelt and wickedness thrived. For months I lived two very different lives very openly. Many believers lifted me in prayer as I remained at the end of my rope in desperate need of a savior. Five months ago I attended a Christian conference that spoke specifically to homosexuality and God’s clear call to all believers. It was there that I was met by the Lord and freed from my resistance. “The opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality it’s HOLINESS,” a quote from the conference that will stay with me for eternity. I began to believe and live my life given that God is bigger than my desire for unhealthy relationships and my escapism through drugs and alcohol. It was during that conference that I was given a choice… Was I going to return to my empty ways of seeking fulfillment and finding heartache? Or was I going to lay down my burden and trust God to deliver me from my emptiness? That night I cried out to the Lord for deliverance from my burden and God met me in my brokenness. Everyday since I was humbled before the cross God has provided renewed strength daily. Daily he equips me to fight a battle against Satan. Where I would otherwise have been compelled and helpless to submitting to sin I now submit to the Lord and his strength is made perfect in my weakness. 2 Cor 12:9-10 God doesn’t promise that he will take away our appetite but He does promise that he will satisfy it righteously. Renowned Christian author, John Piper wrote: contentment of faith does not put an end to our hunger, weariness, or sexual appetite. It does transform the way we go about satisfying those desires. Faith doesn't stop us from eating but it stops gluttony; it doesn't stop sleep but it keeps us from being a sluggard. It doesn't stop sexual appetite but it keeps us from being enslaved to our sexual desires or any desire for that matter. God didn’t promise that he would remove my desire in homosexuality, which caused me to act in disobedience, but He has provided strength to crucify my flesh daily, grace to cover my imperfections, healthy non-sexual relationships with other Godly men and a heart of worship to better serve God the Father. I share with you today as a redeemed child of God free from the bondage of sin available to me through the blood and sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
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